Music to listen to after watching Two and a Half Men.

You know it’s lowest common denominator-type stuff. You know it’s predictable, filled with cheap laughs and there’s something about Charlie Sheen that is even sleazier than Charlie Harper. But sometimes you’ve just got to push back that voice inside your head telling you western civilisation is taking a backwards step every time you laugh at Jake farting and just enjoy the show. It’s a bit like Ben Lee.

These days Ben’s albums aren’t even pretending to possess a semblance of artistry. They’re so short, simple and inoffensive I can taste bubblegum in my mouth when I listen. But there’s something refreshingly unpretentious about an artist who is unapologetic about his desire to write simple, catchy songs.

To say songs like ‘I love pop music’ are radio-friendly is to disregard the state of modern radio. Perhaps “wireless-friendly” is a more apt description. His music does seem to be more popular with Madonna King than Kyle and Jackie-O.

It wasn’t always this way for Lee, who began his career 16 years ago in Noise Addict. Early albums Something to Remember Me By, Breathing Tornadoes and hey you. yes you, cheekily bastardised pop conventions and experimented with instrumentation and modality without ever pushing the envelope too far.

Admittedly I stopped buying his CDs after Awake is the New Sleep. As a teenager the middle-class brand of whiney angst dominating 'Cigaretters will Kill You', 'I am a Sunflower', 'No Room to Bleed' and 'music 4 the young & foolish' resonated with me in the same way Silverchair’s grungier angst did. I guess Ben Lee and Silverchair both just outgrew their torment. Ben Lee found enlightenment and Daniel Johns found...well, Paul Mac?

I can’t see myself listening to much Ben Lee anymore. I suppose I’m just a little frightened if I do, I’ll catch his disease and spend the rest of my life roller-skating around the house, malted strawberry milkshake in hand, only stopping to watch Two and a Half Men before bedtime at 8:30pm.

Music to listen to when eating Burger Rings

Maybe it's because I'm poor and you can buy two packets for two dollars at the local supermarket, but lately my snack of choice has been Burger Rings, the delicious o-shaped chip that tastes, by no stretch of the imagination, anything like a hamburger. Something about this snack sends me on a shame spiral of nostalgia to the 90s. So when I went to the cupboard to get my hit of fat and cholesterol, my mind wandered to Wiseblood, a quintessential embodiment of the 1990s alt rock scene.

From their salad days as a punks from North Carolina in the 80s, Corrosion of Conformity rode the grunge metal wave to major label success after vocalist/guitarist Pepper Keenan injected some New Orleans' groove on the Blind album. Though the move saw them labelled henious sell-outs by some, C.O.C.'s new direction saw critical and commercial success on the Deliverance album. Their next effort, Wiseblood, saw the band combine the anger of Pantera, the melancholy of Alice in Chains, the groove of Jane's Addiction and the stadium friendly riffs of post-Justice Metallica (James Hetfield even has a guest vocals spot on 'Man or Ash') to create a rock and roll riff-monster that could have only been conceived in the 1990s.

A product of apathy, bong hits and laughably corny artwork, Wiseblood is C.O.C. using every trick in the book to make an album saturated with funky hooks, groovy riffs and killer beats. Tracks like 'The Door' and 'Long Whip/Big America' are driven by groovy riffs, loose basslines and badly modulated vocals. 'Goodbye Window' and 'The Snake has No Head' are simple exercises in the post-Nirvana loud/soft dynamic. Hell, in the video for Grammy nominated cut 'Drowning in a Daydream', between all the shitty visual effects and blurry shots of gas masks, Pepper even manages to LOOK like a cross between Kurt Cobain and Jared Leto. 'Man or Ash' sees lead guitarist Woody Weatherman use spicy licks to over-power Keenan's molases-thick rhythms. As the album draws to a close, contemplative closers 'Redemption City' and instrumental 'Bottom Feeder (El Que Come Abajo)' show the band's sensitive side and round out an album, that 13 years on, still proves that an album can be an obvious amalgam but still undeniably rule. Just like no one can hold it against Burger Rings that they taste nothing like their namesake. Because for Burger Rings, and C.O.C., the delicious finished product has always been too good to scrutinise the ingredients.

Music to listen to when you're not living under a rock

I love Bloc Party. I love people who love Bloc Party. I love people who love people who love Bloc Party. I understand where they're coming from! But for those who don’t know people who love Bloc Party, I’ll do my best to spread the gospel.

You may call Bloc Party dance rock, and yes, it's techno to a degree. But much too instrumental to be techno pop, mind you. Don’t you dare call them techno pop. I resentfully admit that there are a lot of Bloc Party dance remixes, which don’t help my cause- DJ Armond Van Helson’s remix of Signs being the most well known on international dance floors. That Bastard.

The game of “Sounds Like” has been won by Chemical Brothers and to a lesser extent Basement Jaxx today. That is, if you believe any of the reviews I’ve read and desired a prelude…

Bloc Party’s front man, a Mr. Kele Okereke has an incredibly distinguishable voice. Pitchy and full, it sounds like he's exorcising desperation from his stomach on every line. I can admit that in any other context Okereke’s voice would annoy the shit out of me. But his sound-like-he’s-on-the-verge-of-crying warbles work within the context of Bloc Party's quartet. The preacher-passionate throw of vocals are a refreshing and eclectic change from the robotic sounds coming from other dance music: I LIKE ELECTRO, HOUSE AND TECHNO Sssshhh!

And when the skies open and you finally hear an original Bloc Party song- the depth of instrumentation will be what warms your cold, cold heart. Always ones for the beat of the drum and the strum of the guitar, Bloc Party have taken these guiding principles to greater lengths in their new album, Intimacy.

Some have complained that Intimacy is not the original Bloc Party sound. I see where they are coming from, there is a lot less simplicity and the album reeks of over-processed, digital recording. However while it takes a few songs, in time you can really sink your teeth into it. I assume the reason for the processed sound is the layer upon layer of guitar, keyboard and drum rhythms, creating a darker and fuller sound. But I find the darkness quite rich and very attractive, like more (yes, that’s right) intimacy is required when listening to the album to figure out it’s secret. It’s confession, even…

Some may say the album is a cop out, but whenever I listen to it I say thank god.

Grind. Smoke. Sleep. Brutal Truth are back from a 10 year hybernation.

Buzz about grind legends Brutal Truth's first full-length album since 1997's Kill Trend Suicide has been growing ever since the weeded-out grinders announced in 2006 they were reforming. When word about Evolution Through Revolution began to surface late last year, speculation began to spread quicker than the Collaterial Damage video clip. Could the band live up to their previous glory? Would the replacement of riff machine Brent McCarthy with Erik Burke hamstring the band's uncompromising riff-based sound?

From what has been heard of Evolution Through Revolution (due out April 20 through Relapse), the ten years have in no way blunted the band's genius. Sure, Kevin Sharp looks A LOT more like a transient and whisps of grey are creeping in to Dan Liker's impressive mat of chest hair. But after 10 years, Brutal Truth still rule.

It's not me, it's her.

According to the one and only, Lily Allen hates being a pop star. Apparently the fame and fortune stops her practicing safe sex, with the pappies snapping her everywhere including her local chemist. But if she really is going to throw it all away (like madam says she is) and open a cake shop, her latest album isn’t telling this reviewer to hold her breath.

If you are like me, and up to your Lily Allen limits with the radio-raped singles The Fear and Everyone’s At It, don’t think the album will provide anything resembling a breath of fresh air. Back away. Seconding Alright, Still, The 12 track It’s Not Me It’s You oozes the typical Lily Allen sound. Chiming her voice through the usual paradoxical vulgar and angry lyrics may not be old to some but I’m hanging out for the day her voice varies an octave. Amusingly, before the release of the latest album, Queen Lily Myspaced her fans about her new direction, saying “I did a retro thing last time, and since I did that, a lot of other people did it too. I wanted to separate myself from the group and move forward". You know when under complete scrutiny the drum machine behind most tracks does have a more electropop sound, as opposed to the poprock sound of album number one. Touché Ms Lily.

But who could blame the darling! With all her sufferings from the slings of arrows of OUTRAGEOUS fortunes, the formula works! Alright, Still sold 2.6 million copies and reached international and critical acclaim with nominations at the BRIT, MTV and Grammy awards. So she rolled it out again and It’s Not Me It’s You debuted at number one in the UK, Canada and Australia, number two in Europe and number five in the US.

And I for one can definitely see the appeal. Sweet sounding music with fuck you lyrics goes down nicely as a poor, journalism student. It’s very easy to listen to; I’m listening to it right now! Just an afterthought…It also sounds very easy to make. A+B=C…Somehow I don’t think Lily Allen will be disappearing for a while.

You Choose YouTube

What is the world coming to when the most viewed clip on YouTube is Avril Lavigne's video clip Girlfriend? No this is not a hoax, or a joke, or a trick. With 117,549, 807 recorded views at the time of writing YouTube rates this video as the current most viewed of all time.

I feel ripped off for three reasons. First, I can't even view the stupid clip because "this video is not available in your country". Second, I can't embed another version of the clip here because embedding has been "disabled by request". Third, I searched for the most viewed clip on YouTube out of curiousity and this is what I got?

Was it unreasonable to expect something a little less shallow and a little more substantial? What is it with this clip that has made it the most viewed? What does it say about YouTube viewers?

I was introduced to YouTube back at the beginning of 2006, not long after it had officially launched in November 2005. Originally it represented a way for me to access tv and music videos on demand, without the lag of waiting for the Australian release and without the concern of pirating and illegal downloading. Today as the copyright and content restrictions are much more stringent (see here for example), YouTube has simply become a source of random entertainment and amusement. For me anyway.

Beyond my surprise that the most viewed video was in fact a music video, and not some slapstick Jackass-esque stunt, I was appauled that it was Avril Lavigne. I know the little Canadian pop punk princess is one of the highest selling artists in the United States, but I didn't realise her badly painted black nails had dug in to so many avenues. Sorry Avril, but your entertainment factor is not as high as a Charlie the Unicorn. Not that the other music videos in top 10 most viewed clips on YouTube are much better. The four other music entities are Chris Brown, Rihanna, Leona Lewis, and Alicia Keys (all of which have had "embedding disabled by request"), none of which are my cup of tea. In future I think I'll be sticking to the search function in YouTube and going by my own taste, especially when it comes to music.

Although there may be hope for the future of YouTube's most viewed, for the month of March at least. With last weeks most viewed video Extreme Sheep LED Art by BaaStuds:



Or this months most viewed video Fred Rescues the Neighbourhood Squirrels by Fred:

Too Much Testosterone for the Well Endowed

I have a confession to make: I am well endowed. Now as I'm not male, and I'm not talking about the female genitals either, then being "well endowed" can only mean one thing. Boobs. Breasts. Tits. Titties. Hooters. Melons. Juicy juicy mangoes. Ok so I'm not hear to talk about Bend It Like Beckham or fruit for that matter. But I would like to know why being well endowed entitles certain testosterone charged males to bump, grab, twist, pinch, cup, or any other form of deliberate touching without the expressed permission of the female in question?

As an avid festival/concert/gig/live music goer there seems to be progressively more of this sort of behaviour going on. Or at least I’m hearing more and more stories about it. True, not in main stream news, but certainly among friends. These incidents seem to happen in the swell of a crowd, where the majority of those around you are consumed by watching the band on stage. Perhaps the accused think we’re either too involved or too drunk to notice the “accidental” brush of their hand against our [Please insert body part of your choosing that you would find most offensive if it was being groped].

Most recent case in point is Frenzal Rhomb’s The Boys Are Back In Brown tour with Nancy Vandal. Picture The Arena, on a Friday night, with a largely male, late twenties audience throbbing with excitement about seeing a gig by a band who have been lying dormant for the last two-nearly-three years. I like my punk rock. I wasn’t old enough to be in to Frenzal when they first got big in the mid 1990’s, and had never seen them live, so it was a gig I waited for enthusiastically. I was very much looking forward to a night of getting sweaty in an exuberant mosh pit jumping up and down to Never Had So Much Fun and Russel Crowe’s Band (is a fucking pile of shit) bashed out on stage. And I was thoroughly enjoying myself up until the point where I had my chest blatantly groped by a maliciously grinning guy as he jostled his way through the crowd.

In some sort of shock I remember just staring at him in disbelief that he would do something so obviously socially unacceptable. Was it just because he thought he could get away with it? Maybe that’s the problem. Has reaching out and grabbing a girls breasts in the middle of a mosh pit become the thing to do now? Or maybe I’m just being sexist. I’ve got friends who animatedly and publicly slap the bum of a cute boy who’s caught their eye on a night out. Is it any different?

Or maybe they really are just accidents. Maybe us overly sensitive beings read too much in to things or take offence to easily. Maybe. But I’ve been in mosh pits. I know an accidental bump from a deliberate grab. And I tell you, the next time a guy, or a girl for that matter, grotesquely and deliberately invades my personal space without invitation – they’re in for a slapping. Or a kick in the pants.

No I do not have the rights to distribute this picture, I stole it from Frenzal Rhomb's myspace. Somehow I don't think they'll mind.

Screaming Girls and Music Snobbery

I hate music snobs. I hate the type of people who sneer condescendingly down their nose at you because you don’t know everything about a certain musical someone. Just because you don’t know every little detail and piece of backwards gossip about the history of a band doesn’t mean your right to say you like/dislike a band or their music is automatically removed. How is knowing the name of every song and every album and every band member for any given band that comes up in conversation really going to change how you feel about their music?

You are entitled to like a band just because. Even if you can’t articulate why. For me a lot of the time I like a band because I’ve heard a song and found it catchy. It doesn’t make a shred of difference how many albums they’ve released, who listens to them, or who they were influenced by. I like their music, knowing everything about them is unlikely to change that. Let me reminisce for a moment.

Fall Out Boy. Friday February 20, 2009 at the Brisbane Entertainment Centre, with supports Hey Monday and The All American Rejects. Walking in among the crowd of predominantly mid-teen girls wearing various band-tees, converse shoes, and spiky hair I look somewhat out of place. But you know what? I don’t give a damn. I’m there to jump around in the mosh pit, sing along to my favourite songs, and all in all have a good time. Just because I was mocked by my brother, my boyfriend, and my housemates for going to this gig was not going to stop me.

They might not be the coolest obscure indy type, or be a hardcore metal band, but that doesn’t mean I can’t think they’re awesome. I might not know (and when I say might, I mean don’t) everything there is to know about them, but that’s not going to stop me digging their music. I might be an amateur when it comes to the music industry, but that doesn’t make my opinion any less valid. Sure it might be different to yours, but so what?

When was the last time you let someone tell you what to think? For me it stopped when I was about five years old and realised that I had a brain of my own. When was the last time you let someone else shout down your opinion just because they think their own is more valid? In all honesty, for me it was probably on yesterday. But really, what’s the difference? Just because I don’t like the same bands or know everything there is to know about music doesn’t mean I can’t have an opinion about it. And just because you might know everything there is to know, doesn’t mean you should be snobby about it.

I don't know everything about Fall Out Boy but I do know that I wasn't the only 22+ year old having an absolute blast at the Brisbane gig. So if someone tells me one more time that Fall Out Boy are only for snivelling thirteen year old girls who are in love with Pete Wentz I think it will be time to resort to violence. I'm thinking about cutting off their noses. At least that way they can't look down it to snub me.

Me and some fellow Fall Out Boy fanatics, prior to being drenched in the sweat of some eight something thousand teeny boppers...