- Personalised ringtones might have saved Warnie some troubles
I’m not the kind of person who stands in front of their mirror for an hour before they leave the house, constantly changing outfit. I’m more the slap it on and see what happens type. But when it comes to phone ringtones, I’m more self-conscious than Kevin Rudd in a New York strip club. I get nervous, indecisive and occasionally break out into a cold sweat.
I’m guessing most people don’t aren’t quite as pedantic, but surely I’m not the only one who deliberates for days, determined to find the perfect 18 seconds of ringing to convey where they’re at in life?
Since the advent of the cellular phone, monophonic classics like the 'Mexican Hat Dance' made way for polyphonic classics like the Violent Femmes' 'Blister in the Sun', which eventually led to mp3 classics like the 'Captain Planet theme song'.
When you consider the endless possibilities, you’ve got to wonder why so many people choose generic, mundane tones. You can tell a lot about a person based on their ringtone or message tone – for example:
- Polyphonic hell
- Anyone with a 'Crazy Frog' or 'Hamster Dance' ringtone is clearly a wanker.
- The screaming “message....message...MESSAGE!” message tone that gets progressively louder indicates that person will probably become progressively more irritating
- Homemade recordings (like children laughing, or something just as painful for everyone but the owner) could well signify a self obsessed narcissist
- 'Low' by Flo Rida or 'Superman/Crank dat' by Soulja Boy are probably worse than Crazy Frog. Avoid this person at all costs.
- A ringtone of 'Strawberry Kisses' by Nikki Webster is a federally endorsed means of identifying paedophiles
I decided late last week that Thirsty Merc’s cover of Cold Chisel’s 'My Baby' had run its course. It was time for a change of soundscape.
The criteria:
- It must be loud
- It must contain an 18 second hook
- It must be recognisable without being mundane
A lot of the time ringtones and message tones are all about novelty. That’s why I like using cover songs – interesting at first, but any more than 18 seconds and you’re usually sick of it and would rather hear the original. While some people choose to have personalised tones for people in their address book, unless you’re Shane Warne, it’s really not necessary.
My eventual choice of ringtone was 'Rubidoux' by the Cold War Kids. It’s energetic, distinctively Cold War Kids and has great lyrics.
- Big girls wear pull-ups
While I was in the mood for change, I figured it was a good time to experiment with a new message tones as well. There are some hard and fast rules around the use of message tones. Most importantly, they have to be kept short. I once worked with a middle-aged lady, who like an early 90s geek would load their geocities website full of flashing text and basketball-cursors, had not got a grip on the practicalities of the technology and had set Fergie’s 'Big Girls Don’t Cry' as her message tone. All 4 minutes and 28 seconds of it. Every time she got a message. Kill me now.
Admittedly, I’m experimenting with a message tone that goes for a whopping 8 seconds (7 longer than it really should). It has no real relevance to the text message medium, but it brings a smile to my face every time I hear it (check it out in the media player below).
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